Finding Answers to a Not-So-Simple Question, a guest post by Christina Matula

The Not-So-Simple Question, the third book in the Holly-Mei series, was the hardest for me to write because it’s the most personal. The series is about twelve-year-old Holly-Mei Jones who moves from Toronto to Hong Kong for her mother’s job, and follows her ups and downs as she settles into life, school, and friendships in her new home.

Like the titular character, Holly-Mei, I am the daughter of immigrant parents, my father a refugee from Hungary, my mother from Taiwan. Like Holly-Mei, I was born and raised in Canada, constantly surrounded by cultures that left an imprint on my heart. And, like Holly-Mei, I had to navigate questions around identity. As it turns out, these were not-so-simple questions to answer.

In this book, the students are preparing for an upcoming ‘Experience Week’ school trip to Taiwan when a classmate asks Holly-Mei a seemingly innocuous and simple question about her Taiwanese identity, “So you’re only half?” Up to then, Holly-Mei has loved her mixed-race heritage, having two cultures to call her own. But now, seeds of doubt fill her head. Are these two cultures really her own? Can she call herself Taiwanese when she is only half?

Although she had spent the majority of her life in Canada, Holly-Mei feels Taiwanese through her relationship with her Ah-ma, her loving grandmother. Ah-ma helps keep their Taiwanese traditions alive in the home, and thanks to her, Holly-Mei also speaks a bit of Chinese. But when Holly-Mei discovers her British cousin speaks it better than she does, she grapples with how to reconcile these contradictory facets of her identity. Eventually in the book, Holly-Mei goes on a school trip to Taiwan, where she contemplates head-on what her mixed heritage means to her.

I wanted to explore the questions surrounding identity when you’re “only” mixed. What makes up identity? Is it where you were born or where you live? Is it tied to ethnicity? Or language? Can we really straddle two identities?

To navigate this, I had to delve into what my own mixed identity means to me. I had a very happy childhood, always proud of my heritage, but I can recall moments of confusion and self-doubt. Growing up in Canada, I had encountered ubiquitous questions about my looks such as Where are you really from? and What are you? But it was actually the questions and comments from those in my Taiwanese family and community that were harder to shrug off, particularly as my sister and I were the only mixed kids. You don’t look anything like your cousins or Why can’t you speak Chinese? The most egregious was a neighbor of my grandmother in Taiwan asking, Why does her face look like that? I’ll always be grateful to my Taiwanese American cousin, Eli, who understood the comments in a language I didn’t speak, for being offended on my behalf. It made me question whether I really could be proud of my mixed heritage because in those moments, I was unsure I could claim Taiwanese as part of my identity.

It was only as an adult, when I moved to Hong Kong, did I feel confident embracing all the pieces that made up my identity. I immersed myself in Chinese language and culture, reveling in the foods and festivals. More importantly, it was the first time I was surrounded by friends who looked like me – until then I had rarely encountered people my age of mixed Chinese heritage. We talked through our shared common experiences, from the joys of double celebrations and cuisines, to feeling different – “good different” and moments of self-doubt. And I came to finally understand that the power to define my identity doesn’t rest with others, it has always been in my own hands.

I wanted to write the book I wish I had as a child, a book that would let me know that it’s okay to sometimes feel unsure, to not have answers. That the journey of self-discovery can’t be rushed and should instead be relished. In The Not-So-Simple Question, Holly-Mei’s mother wisely advises her, “Don’t let your identity be in the hands of others.” And along with the advice of her two friends who are also of mixed heritage, Saskia (Ghanaian and British) and Theo (Chinese and Scottish), Holly-Mei learns her identity is what she feels inside, within her own heart.

By weaving elements plucked from my own experiences, such as a visit to Ah-ma’s childhood home, which is based on where my mother grew up, as well as sketches of real family photos and a family tree, I wanted to offer young readers a glimpse into the richness of a mixed-race heritage. (Illustration credit Yao Xiao)

Questions about identity are complex and messy, and it’s important for young readers to feel it’s okay to take time to figure things out. Just like Holly-Mei and me, I hope their journeys lead to a profound sense of pride and belonging.

About Christina

Christina Matula grew up in Ottawa, Canada. Being a child of immigrant parents, she has always been curious about other cultures and far-off places. Dumplings are her favourite food, especially her mother’s savoury Taiwanese jiaozi and her father’s sweet Hungarian gomboc. She is the author of the Holly-Mei series, including The Not-So-Uniform Life of Holly-Mei, The Not-So-Perfect Plan, and the upcoming The Not-So-Simple Question. She is also the author of the picture book The Shadow in the Moon, illustrated by Pearl Law. Christina has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Hong Kong and now lives in Finland with her husband, two children, and puppy.

Photo credit: William Furniss

About The Not-So-Simple Question

Return to Hong Kong in the third book of this charming middle grade series starring Holly-Mei, a girl navigating her new city, new school, and new friendships.

Holly-Mei is caught in the middle.

Holly-Mei Jones has finally settled into her new friend group in Hong Kong—that is until suddenly everyone starts talking about dating. Which Holly-Mei is not ready for.

At least she has her school’s Experience Week to look forward to. Holly-Mei can’t wait to show off Taiwan, where her beloved Ah-Ma is from, to her friends. The trip is going to be perfect…right?

Maybe not. On top of the pressure to date, Holly-Mei starts to wonder if maybe being half-Taiwanese isn’t enough. In the face of these big questions, will Holly-Mei be able to finally feel like she belongs?

ISBN: 9781335009999
Publisher: Inkyard Press / HarperCollins

Publication Date: April 23, 2024

Pages: 272 pages

Age: 8 to 12

Filed under: Middle Grade, Middle Grade Fiction, Mind the Middle, Mind the Middle Project