Laughing with Cancer, a guest post by Katryn Bury

Every one of us will have to face Big Things™ in life—those formative moments that change everything. Some of us might be lucky enough to make it through childhood in a protective bubble—not quite believing that bad things can happen until a major event or trauma leads to a harsh moment of realization. Many of us learn about tragedy from stories. Tiger Eyes. Bridge to Terabithia. The Fault in Our Stars. For kids who are lucky enough not to be touched by adversity at a young age, it can be a therapeutic way to process the things that scare us.

I dealt with Big Things™ at a very early age. My first memory is having my feet tied down with sandbags in the hospital so that a team of nurses could give me oxygen treatment and injections. I remember gasping for air and panicking as the nurses held down my feet. I wasn’t even three years old. That bout in the hospital (with double pneumonia) lives in my mind in fragmented bits and pieces—enough to seem like snippets from a bad dream I was lucky enough to wake up from. But I had a long first decade ahead of me. More hospital visits. Frightening asthma attacks. Then, dealing with severe bullying at school, and the anxiety and depression that followed.

It was difficult (bordering on impossible) but, with an amazing family always having my back, I survived it. Then, just a few years after my medical issues began to improve, I got the biggest shock of my life so far: my best friend, Jamin, had cancer. My friend, the healthy one. The strong one. Despite successful treatment and entering remission, there were complications, and she died later that year. Following that, my teens and twenties were fraught with more traumas I won’t even try to detail here. Then, just after my life finally calmed down, I found out I  had cancer. This is all too much for one person, I remember repeating to myself.  Still, I survived. Somehow, I always did.

It’s funny writing down these things that happened to me, because it all sounds very tragic. If I were writing a book about a child who dealt with what I did, it would no doubt be in the stories meant to make you cry. To make you learn. But, here’s the thing: between the lines of every trauma I endured was…laughter. Humor healed me. Laughter got me through it. But, in so many ways, society made me feel like it was “inappropriate” to find humor amid death, illness, and tragedy. I was sick. Cancer was sad, so I should be perpetually sad. I disagreed. Of all the people who need humor, sick kids are at the top of my list.

In my latest book, We Are Not Alone, I wanted to challenge that notion of humor being “inappropriate” in a book about grief and illness head on. My main character, Sam Kepler Greyson is dealing with two Big Things™—he has entered remission after dealing with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and his best friend has also died from a different cancer. You would think this would be a serious tome—and it is at times! These are hard issues to deal with. But I also wanted Sam to laugh, be snarky, and go on adventures. Because, when kids are unlucky enough to face these things at a young age, I don’t particularly want to saddle them with having to act serious all the time.

When you’re sick, the moments of levity get you through. There are tears and sadness, yes. There are times that you must confront the unfairness of what’s happening. That’s all true. But, even sick kids should be able to have it all. Tears, laughter, even adventure. But, in my early attempts to sell a story like this, I was faced with the same response across the board: your cancer book is too funny. It made me sad. I’d read plenty of books where a sick or disabled character was there to teach able-bodied children and adults about empathy and tolerance. But, I thought to myself, what a huge amount of pressure on that child! I didn’t want my character to carry the weight of teaching his able family and classmates something that they would carry with them for a lifetime while his own life slipped away. I wanted my character to get what other characters had—the starring role in his own adventure.

My father-in-law said something to me once: “Life is lumpy.” It’s long stuck with me, because it’s one of those statements that exists within dual meanings. Living means that none of us will escape the occasional bad times, but it also means that smoother times are ahead. Life can by “lumpy” in a year, but also in a day. I remember, even through the worst bouts of illness in my childhood, how my parents would make me laugh in these little moments in between. I’ve mostly forgotten how my worst asthma attacks felt, but I’ll never forget how hard my dad made me crack up in the emergency room one time before I was hospitalized.

There’s moments of joy to be found even in the worst times. Even if those times aren’t hopeful. Even if we’re reaching the end. Life is filled with moments—good and bad. With We Are Not Alone, I want readers to understand that they don’t have to be a triumph or a tragedy.

They can just be a kid.

Meet the author

Katryn Bury is the author of the critically acclaimed Drew Leclair mysteries. A lifelong true-crime nerd, she holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology/criminology. Katryn works with middle grade readers as a library technician by day and writes mysterious coming-of-age stories for those same readers by night. She lives in California with her family, along with a vast collection of pop-culture knickknacks and Nancy Drew books

My socials:

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About We Are Not Alone

From award-winning author Katryn Bury of the Drew Leclair series, this hopeful coming-of-age middle grade novel follows the unlikely friendship between Sam, a recent cancer survivor, and a popular girl at school as they come together on a quest to uncover the truth about alien life in honor of Sam’s best friend’s final wishes. This powerful story of friendship and grief is a gentle reminder that we are never alone in the universe.

Sam Kepler Greyson doesn’t want to be the “cancer kid.” After losing his best friend and fellow UFO enthusiast, Oscar, to brain cancer, Sam wants to focus on anything but his own cancer—maybe even a normal year of middle school.

But whispers in the halls and lingering grief over Oscar make Sam’s return much harder. To make matters worse, he is paired with popular girl Cat for a history project. Between Cat’s icy attitude and troubling rumors that Sam lied about having cancer, nothing seems to be going well.

Things start to look up when Cat and Sam unexpectedly bond over the UFO obsession he once shared with Oscar—but Sam isn’t sure he’s ready to open up to someone again. With the chance for a fresh start within reach, he worries that coming clean about his illness will only make Cat pity him. Hiding the truth also helps Sam avoid the biggest worry of all: What if his cancer comes back?

ISBN-13: 9780063337411
Publisher: HarperCollins
Publication date: 10/29/2024
Age Range: 8 – 12 Years

Filed under: Guest Post