Grief and Loss in Middle Grade: An Interview with K. A. Reynolds
I’m grateful to School Library Journal for always giving me so many opportunities to dig deep into topics that interest me and interview so many wonderful authors. I wrote the cover story for SLJ’s October issue, “Good Grief: Middle Grade Authors Normalize Loss.”
SLJ and all the authors I interviewed were kind enough to allow me to share these interviews in whole here on TLT, which is so exciting to me because everyone had such great things to say and I could only share small snippets of these conversations. This article features interviews with K. A. Reynolds, Jess Redman, Gary D. Schmidt, Emily Barth Isler, Debbie Fong, Lisa Stringfellow, and Christina Li.
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Please enjoy this interview with K. A. Reynolds. Be sure to check out the article in SLJ and come back to TLT for the rest of the interviews in the upcoming days.
Amanda MacGregor: What inspired or influenced the idea to center grief and loss in your story (or stories)?
K. A. Reynolds: Grief and loss have been a part of my own story since childhood and are the lenses through which I experience the world. It’s important to me that kids who’ve experienced death, trauma, and loss, have protagonists they can relate to. I write the hard topics, so kids feel seen, supported, and understood. So they can see how strong and brave they’ve been all along.
MacGregor: What are some things your character does to cope with their loss or how are some ways the grief presents itself? How are the grieving characters supported?
Reynolds: In Izzy at the End of the World, Izzy is still grieving the recent death of her mother when the rest of her family suddenly disappears. Izzy reacts with desperation, disbelief, and panic, and the dark clouds of her depression and anxiety are triggered. Izzy is Autistic, so she uses stims and self-talk to help calm herself and also seeks comfort from her dog, Akka, who needs the love of his girl, right back. When Izzy finds her mother’s hidden journal, she starts getting signs her mother might not be all-the-way gone. Soon, Izzy even begins to sense her deceased mother’s spirit, which helps ease Izzy’s grief. We all need someone or something to hold onto amid great loss, and these storylines add a necessary layer of love and healing to the book.
MacGregor: A hallmark of middle grade books is offering hope to both the characters and the readers. Was this particularly challenging for you to do while tackling grief/loss?
Reynolds: During revisions for Izzy at the End of the World, covid hit, and we got an eviction notice. My husband had a brain aneurism and his doctors’ found he had stage 4 cancer. We were forced from our home three weeks after his brain surgery and diagnosis, and all this during covid. It was the most traumatic time in our lives. So, I set my revisions aside to focus on Bob, our kids, and our collective grief, then picked edits back up when Bob took a turn for the better. I booked a hotel for six days to finish Izzy. The words poured out like magic. I was so hopeful! Until Bob’s oncologist called to say he now had a secondary cancer of the brain and spinal fluid and had only weeks to live. I was in shock. I broke down in the hotel alone, then told Bob I was coming home, edits could wait. But he wouldn’t hear of it! Even now, facing death, my biggest cheerleader told me told me to finish the book. Against my better judgement, I stayed. I wrote and cried my heart out as I finished Izzy. I turned in edits and went home, Not long after, my edit notes on Izzy returned. Then, my Bob died.
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There are no words for the emptiness, pain, and grief that came next. Diving back into my edits on Izzy amidst this monumental loss seemed impossible. Not only did I have to process my own grief, but Izzy’s, too. Offering hope to the characters and readers while tackling my own grief was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done—and the most natural, too. My characters were grieving, and so was I. My characters needed hope, and oh, so did I. Izzy and I clung to each other for dear life, and I’m not sure I’d have survived without her at my side. Izzy’s story helped me heal in incomprehensible ways—explained in the acknowledgements of the book. Writing her gave me a purpose beyond my sadness. Reminded me why I was here. Why Izzy’s story mattered. I’d like to think that we helped readers through their own grief and gave them hope, too.
MacGregor: Why is it important to address tough topics like death in middle grade? (I’m thinking of all those who say things like, “Why write sad or hard books when life is hard enough?” or those who would like to “protect” children from these storylines, as though they don’t happen all the time to real actual children.)
Reynolds: Kids don’t grow up in a vacuum; they are terrified and confused and experience great loss, too. If we want our children to feel safe and to grow into emotionally intelligent adults, they need to know that death is a part of living. That it’s okay to be sad because it hurts to let go. Books with death at the heart give kids the space to help process their feelings, and provide a safe cocoon where they can cry, feel safe, and learn to be brave. They show kids they are not alone. Without journeying with characters going through the darkness of grief, readers might never find their own lights in the dark. They might never realize that if their favorite characters can survive this, they can, too.
MacGregor: What do you hope readers take away from your book?
Reynolds: I want Izzy and her friends to mirror the grief and fear middle grade kids face. To show readers how strong they are for being who they are, and how powerful they’ve become by fighting their own monsters, no matter what form their monsters take. I wish to give kids a kindred spirit who understands what they’ve been through. To show them it’s okay to not be okay and sometimes our vulnerabilities can be our greatest strengths. That no matter what horrors and sadnesses we encounter, when we face our fears, learn to trust, and let ourselves feel that deep hurt, bravery and empathy grows into a power strong enough to heal.
And maybe even save the world.
Filed under: Guest Post
About Amanda MacGregor
Amanda MacGregor works in an elementary library, loves dogs, and can be found on Twitter @CiteSomething.
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