Writing Lets Me Be the Kid I Never Was, a guest post by Carol Williams

I don’t remember the little girl’s name. But I remember her. She caught my eye as soon as she entered the gym where my son was having basketball practice. Her brother was also on the team and she’d come with her mother to pick him up. She was about six.

Here’s why she still stands out in my mind many years later: She wore a grungy soccer uniform and, shimmering atop her tousled, dark hair, a sparkling tiara.

I mean, this wasn’t your average sports ensemble. She had on a slightly grimy tee shirt, rumpled shorts, bright green soccer socks, and a dainty crown firmly affixed to her head. It was a gutsy combination, and it fascinated me.

I continued observing her. She never stood still. She smiled a lot and constantly hugged her mother. Her interactions with others was unselfconscious and friendly, and she never once fussed with her tiara. She was a soccer-princess-sprite. The girl had panache.

The basketball practice ended, parents gathered up their children, and I sought her out once more and smiled when I caught a glimpse of her heading out the door. She was following her mother and brother, tiara flashing, dancing into the night.

I’ve tried to figure out why her image still stands out. I only saw her a few times during that one basketball season. And there are dozens of other children who’ve crossed my path over the years,

It must be that at the same time I found her amusing, I also found her admirable. Even at six, some kids have already learned how to “fit in.” They’ve been told by well-meaning parents that you don’t show up after a soccer game in your uniform and a headpiece that looks like it’s stolen from an Audrey Hepburn movie. You dress the part … you look and act like all the other six-year-olds on your soccer team.

Sometimes you don’t even need a well-meaning parent to tell you to dress the part and don’t deviate. Sometimes, like me, you say it to yourself.

But this kid didn’t mind being different. She was all herself, and completely free in that. There was no fiddling with her tiara or even yanking up her falling soccer socks for that matter. She was what she was – and that was fabulous.

I’ve also concluded that my admiration was tinged with envy. I was never that kind of kid, and I certainly had not become that kind of adult. When I was growing up, any attire that made me look different was something I stuffed way down deep in a drawer, only to be worn at home, if at all. In public I wore dreary, neutral colors virtually from head to toe – browns, tans, burnt oranges, black. Most of the time I was a walking definition of monochromatic.

But when I started writing my middle grade stories, the main characters came to life in living color — there was nothing monochromatic about them. One creation in particular stood out: The main character in my book, The Supernatural Files of CJ Delaney.

Countess Jewel (CJ) Delaney II leapt onto the pages in bold, confident, slightly brash fashion. Her voice is funny, snappy and sassy. She’s the kind of kid who’d wear a tiara with her dirty soccer uniform.

She was the kid I never was but often wished I could be.

That’s the beauty of writing. Hopefully the things—the quiet, creative, humorous things—I like about myself find their way into my pages, too. But I love conjuring up kids who dare to be different. Who take the bull by the horns, jump on it and ride until they get where they want to go. They inspire me to take that side of myself beyond the page.

Some readers may think that CJ is selfish and self-centered. I’ll grant you that. But she’s also open to learning something new about herself: That it’s important to step aside and let others shine. That sometimes it’s okay to be the one in the monochromatic outfit as you hand over your tiara for someone else to wear.

The tide of conformity and fear of being myself has turned as I’ve grown older. As I’ve come to realize how much of my life is wasted worrying about fitting in, or what others think of me because of how I look or what I say. 

In the past few years I’ve decided that bright, bold colors are what I love best. I relish making pathetic jokes and laughing myself silly over them even as my kids look at me with pity. I dance at the wedding receptions instead of standing on the sidelines, clapping. After so many years, I’ve finally becoming comfortable with the idea that being myself isn’t about pulling up my socks or making sure my tiara is on straight (if I dared to wear one at all).

CJ helps me with that. She’s actually helping me shine. After all, I created her! There’s a CJ in me somewhere, it just took my writing to bring her out. I hope other kids who want to wear tiaras with a grungy uniform or go after the big stories like CJ, will read about her and become a little more daring and do what’s in their hearts to do.

I think about that little girl with the tiara and hope that no one ever snatched it off her head. Or ordered her to straighten up those sagging socks. I hope no one ever decided to steal her joy.

And then I think: So why steal it from myself?

I’ve finally been able to reach into that drawer and grab some panache. CJ and the soccer-princess-sprite deserve a lot of thanks for that.

They’re my heroes.

Meet the author

Carol Williams has a long history of writing: ad agency copywriter, healthcare content wordsmith, insurance marketing scribe — you name it, she’s written a ton of it. Now she also writes stories for middle grade kids. Carol has two adult children and lives in Ohio with her husband and maybe a dog if she can ever talk said husband into it. The Supernatural Files of CJ Delaney is her first published book.

About The Supernatural Files of CJ Delaney

Possessed dogs, missing livestock, cloaked figures . . . CJ Delaney’s summer vacation just got really weird.

When a boring old skatepark opening becomes the scene of a something truly strange, CJ Delaney can’t believe her luck. This is just the kind of big story she’s dreamed of breaking for the town’s local paper.

With best friend Parker in tow, CJ is determined to get to the bottom of everything and save the town from evil. Isn’t this what summer vacation is for? But when all answers point to someone close, CJ stands not only to lose her byline but the scariest thing of all—the people and pet she loves.

With a strong, snappy voice and a warm sense of humor, The Supernatural Files of CJ Delaney is a fast-paced middle grade mystery (with just the right amount of hair-raising thrills) that begs to be read cover-to-cover in one sitting. This debut from Carol Williams shines with love for its characters, college-town setting, and belief in the power of the written word.

ISBN-13: 9780823454129
Publisher: Holiday House
Publication date: 05/07/2024
Age Range: 8 – 12 Years

Filed under: Guest Post