Loving Home, a guest post by Ellen Hagan

I grew up in Bardstown, Kentucky, which sits right in the center of the state. Born in 1978, my childhood was spent cruising around all our neighborhoods on bike or foot, climbing trees, catching crawdads and making mud pies. It was the suburbs, but still felt country, with white picket fences and rolling hills and deep orange sunsets. Barefoot, we caught fireflies at night in our backyards and ran through sprinklers and lit sparklers all summer long. As a teenager in the 90’s, we used up all our time riding in cars outside of the city limits so if I close my eyes now, I can see those lush, abundant rolling hills and feel the wind rushing in through the open windows on our way through all those country roads out toward New Haven and Bloomfield. It didn’t matter what direction we went in, we just wanted to drive and get lost in the massive treetops that covered us like an awning, like protection. It was all about the field parties, sprawling out in the dewy grass and telling every tall tale we could imagine. For college, I went to the University of Kentucky. They had one of the best theatre programs in the state and a thriving literary community with writers like Crystal Wilkinson, Kelly Norman Ellis, Nikky Finney and James Baker Hall. If you wanted to study those rich traditions, then UK was where you wanted to go. In the late 90’s, Lexington was considered a big town. Too small to be a city, too big to be the country. It was a hybrid place back then, and you could cruise out in any direction to see horse farms and stone fences, sweeping countryside and scenic highways.

The first two decades of my life were spent in Kentucky, figuring out who I was and who I was meant to be. After leaving, I found myself longing for home. I had planned to go since high school, after realizing I wanted to act and write for a living and having visited New York City and feeling the electric energy that never seemed let me go. I thought I needed to leave, but as soon as I was gone, I did everything possible to get back. And it didn’t help that people constantly had misconceptions and stereotypes when I told them where I was from. I would often hear jokes or put downs or people saying that they understood why I left. Sometimes to Northerners, the South represents ignorance or backwards ways, but I knew that wasn’t true and that people can be ignorant and backwards no matter where they come from. The longer I was away, the angrier I became. It was like the family member you could talk about, but when someone else said something about them, you were ready to fight. I was ready to stand up for my home. The one that had carried me over rolling hills and down into valleys, all that green rising up everywhere I looked. The community I am from is open minded, radical, generous and kind. I know that to be true and as an artist, I will always honor that and work to showcase that. I know Kentucky is not perfect. Nowhere is. Places are complicated and nuanced. But I know that the best thing for me to do is write about it, share it, unearth all the parts of it that I still hold.

I left Kentucky after graduating from college in 2001 and have lived in New York City ever since, but because all of our family still lives there, we spend many weeks of every year in the Bluegrass and now have a home base that we visit as often as possible. I feel like myself when I am there. All of my memories rush back. Raising two children in the city makes me long for those summer nights and I want my kids to have as much time in that place as possible. I want them to love all the places that they are from, the places that make them. It is sometimes hard work to see the joy and beauty in the things in your life. Sometimes you want to rage against them and sometimes you feel like they are holding you back. I know I felt that when I was in high school, but I urge you to still search for the magnificent, stay looking for the divine. It is there. You just have to learn how to see it, honor it, respect it, carry it.

When I wrote All That Shines, I started with that love. I wanted to write a book that would celebrate where I come from. A love note about and for my home so that people who are not from Kentucky or have never been to the Bluegrass can understand its opulence, its undeniable, stunning beauty for themselves. Can see the ways that we create community and cook, can taste the cornbread from the cast iron skillet and the fried chicken and fried green tomatoes. The tenderness that we have when it comes to feeding the people we love most. I love Kentucky. I love the way it raised me, the people who are family and friends for me, the landscape and the ways I can escape when I am there. My roots, traditions, language and stories all come from that place, so in writing All That Shines, I was calling home. Trying to recreate those nights full of shimmering stars, meadows full of blue green grass you could get lost in and friendships that last forever. I hope when you read this novel in verse, you see your own home with some tenderness. I hope this book helps you define who you are and where you come from. I hope you find people to love and places to grow and a community that lifts you up. I hope you always find a way to go back home – wherever that may be.

Meet the author

Ellen Hagan is a writer, performer, and educator. Her books include: All That Shines, Don’t Call Me a Hurricane, Blooming Fiascoes, Hemisphere, Crowned, Watch Us Rise (co-written with Renée Watson) and Reckless, Glorious, Girl. Her work can be found in ESPN Magazine, She Walks in Beauty, and Southern Sin. She received a New York Foundation for the Arts fellowship in poetry in 2020 and has received grants from the Northern Manhattan Arts Alliance and the Kentucky Foundation for Women. www.ellenhagan.com @ellenhagan

About All That Shines

A contemplative novel in verse that questions what it means to lose everything you once treasured and rediscover yourself, falling in love along the way.

Chloe Brooks has only ever known what it’s like to have everything. Her parents’ wealth and place in society meant she had all she wanted, and friends everywhere she turned. Until it all crashes down: Her father is arrested in the middle of the night, under investigation for fraud.

Bankrupt and facing foreclosure, Chloe must forgo her lavish summer plans as she and her mom are forced to move into one of the rundown apartments they still own, just outside Lexington, Kentucky. Without her riches, Chloe loses her friends, her comfort, her confidence, and her sense of self, unsure of who she is and if she is even worth anything if she nothing to offer.

To Chloe’s surprise, she bonds with her neighbors, Clint, Skye, James, and Natalia, and they introduce her to the side of Kentucky she’s long ignored. Her new friends are the only ones who see her for who she truly is, but will they stay by her side once they discover her family’s true identity, or will Chloe lose them, too?

In her signature captivating verse, Ellen Hagan encapsulates the hesitant joy of reshaping your identity and rediscovering yourself.

ISBN-13: 9781547610211
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA
Publication date: 09/05/2023
Age Range: 13 – 17 Years

Filed under: Guest Post