GROWING UP GAY IN THE 80s: Two very close friends dealing with the same secret in very different ways, a guest post by Sean Hayes, Todd Milliner, and Carlyn Greenwald

First of all, we didn’t all grow up gay in the 80’s in the Chicago suburbs. That’s just Todd and Sean. Carlyn has her own journey and she’ll talk about that in a second. But we (Sean and Todd) are very old and grew up in a time of big hair (Sean), preppies (Todd), and breakdancing (neither of us, thank God). One thing that wasn’t a really popular trend was being gay. But that didn’t make us any less gay. It didn’t make us any less interested in all the other things that teens are interested in like video games, music, sports and… being in love. Who we loved or wanted to love was a secret we didn’t feel great about sharing with most people. Even with many of our closest friends.

And, much of that and much, much more, turned into our first book Time Out. They say write what you know and much of this is our authentic journey. And we wanted to share it with all of you.

We’ve been friends since college and for the last 20 years we’ve owned a company called Hazy Mills together. And one day, while trying to figure out what our next TV show was going to be, we started chatting about our different, but all too similar, experiences growing up gay in small towns.

Just like in our book, one real life character (Todd, in this case) was more focused on sports while another (Sean) was focused on the arts. We wondered what it would have been like if we were lucky enough to know each other then? What would our dynamic have been like as teens, friends, and confidants? How wonderful would it have been to realize that we could actually have so much in common with someone so different from ourselves? And, of course as creators of television, we wondered why we haven’t explored that kind of relationship in TV or books or movies.

Then we took that relationship and made it the thematic centerpiece for our story. What would happen if the #1 athlete in the state came out as gay and how would that affect the team, the school, the town, the state, and most importantly, his personal relationships?

We are more optimistic today that the country is growing closer to accepting all kinds of people. And this story is told from that optimistic point of view even if it feels like we still have a long way to go.

All we wanted back in our big hair, preppy days was to feel accepted. Maybe that’s still what we want deep down. So, we decided we wanted to tell this story. And we wanted to set it against the unique back drop of teen sports. So, we started writing Time Out. And we are so excited to share it with you. 

Early on, we realized we needed a partner to help us tell this important story. Here’s where Carlyn joined the team.

JOINING TIME OUT: a former 2010s closeted teenager connects with a timeless message about the LGBT experience

When it came to me jumping into Time Out, my agent brought me the project—then a TV pilot and a book outline—sometime in 2020. I had mostly written YA thrillers up until that point, but I really connected with the nuanced yet hopeful approach to a coming out narrative, lead by a character teenage me both would’ve cringed at and seen as incredibly brave. From there, I wrote some sample chapters and the day before publishing closed for the year in December 2020, I got the call that I was on the team. It was one of the best days of my life.

I (Carlyn) went to high school in 2010s Los Angeles. It was a particularly progressive school for the time and so small that on National Coming Out Day, students would come up on stage and announce to the whole school they were queer. The first openly trans student was in my grade and our school had a GSA as well as a secret club where an openly gay teacher would meet with queer-identified and closeted students before school on a if you need the invite, you get it basis. My best friend was gay, and (surprise, surprise) most of my friend group, myself included, identified as some shade of LGBTQ+ within five years of graduating high school. So for me, queerness was something I experienced from the outside as a teenager, albeit while dealing with a lot of confusing feelings for female teachers and fellow students that I couldn’t process for what they were at the time.

Looking back and comparing it to now, LGBTQ+ students were certainly accepted and accommodated more than any time in the past, but even the 2010s had its own bumps in the road to acceptance. Even at a progressive school in Los Angeles. I saw the way the school shuffled around said first trans student to at least three different bathrooms before they slapped a “gender neutral” door on one single-stall bathroom in the whole school. I know that there was something in the air that kept many of us closeted throughout high school, even if it was never spoken about.

So when I got the chance to join the Time Out team, I not only connected with all the hilarious, heartfelt, complex characters in the initial pilot, but that acknowledgement of a gay student struggling in the face of a world that wants to believe it’s beyond bigotry. Barclay, like many other LGBTQ+ students today, gets a huge slap in the face instead of how he imagines he’ll be received, thinking his popularity makes his invincible. Unfortunately, more and more students are learning that the linearity of time doesn’t necessarily mean every decade the experience of being queer is getting exponentially easier. There’s still pushback, still otherness.

With that, though, I also loved the way Time Out shows love and hope and acceptance amid that slap of the harshness of the world around Barclay. Helping write Barclay and Christopher’s friendship and romance was the ultimate breath of fresh air – because their meeting of souls existed in spite of the darkness. It’s such a lovely thought, really, that two teens who have nothing in common interest wise can still have a gut-level connection based on a huge aspect of their identities whether spoken about openly or not. There’s no other feeling like it.

I’m also so glad that more and more teenagers are able to know who they are and start embracing love, and I can only hope for and fight for a world who loves them back. I wholeheartedly agree with Sean and Todd—even if the road ahead is scary, we’re optimistic for the future and grateful for how far we have come. Time Out, ultimately, is filled with that optimism.

Meet the authors

Sean Hayes is an Emmy Award–winning actor, best known for his role as Jack McFarland on the NBC sitcom Will & Grace. He is also a writer, comedian, and producer. In addition to his credits in television and film, he has also found success on Broadway. He lives with his husband, Scott Icenogle, in Los Angeles. Sean is the author of picture book Plum and young adult novel Time Out.

Todd Milliner is an Emmy Award–winning producer and writer who cofounded Hazy Mills Productions with Sean Hayes in 2004. He has produced over 400 episodes of television, including hit NBC drama Grimm and the TV Land sitcom Hot in Cleveland. He lives with his husband, Michael Matthews, in Los Angeles.

Carlyn Greenwald writes romantic and thrilling page-turners for teens and adults. A film school graduate and former Hollywood lackey, she now works in publishing. She resides in Los Angeles, mourning the loss of ArcLight Cinemas and soaking in the sun with her dogs. Find her online on Twitter @CarlynGreenwald and Instagram @Carlyn_Gee.

About Time Out

Heartstopper meets Friday Night Lights in this keenly felt coming-of-age story about a teen hometown hero who must find out who he is outside of basketball when his coming out as gay costs him his popularity and place on the team.

In his small Georgia town, Barclay Elliot is basically a legend. Here basketball is all that matters, and no one has a bigger spotlight than Barclay. Until he decides to use the biggest pep rally in the town’s history to come out to his school. And things change. Quickly.

Barclay is faced with hostility he never expected. Suddenly he is at odds with his own team, and he doesn’t even have his grandfather to turn to the way he used to. But who is Barclay if he doesn’t have basketball?

His best friend, Amy, thinks she knows. She drags him to her voting rights group, believing Barclay can find a bigger purpose. And he does, but he also finds Christopher. Aggravating, fearless, undeniably handsome Christopher. He and Barclay have never been each other’s biggest fans, but as Barclay starts to explore parts of himself he’s been hiding away, they find they might have much more in common than they originally thought.

As sparks turn into something more, though, Barclay has to decide if he’s ready to confront the privilege and popularity that have shielded him his entire life. Can he take a real shot at the love he was fighting for in the first place?

ISBN-13: 9781534492622
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books For Young Readers
Publication date: 05/30/2023
Age Range: 12 – 18 Years

Purchase link:

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Time-Out/Sean-Hayes/9781534492622

Filed under: Guest Post