Alena Bruzas in Conversation with Robin Alvarez
When Oceans Rise by Robin Alvarez is about abuse. Robin addresses what she calls the “mental warfare” of gaslighting. Robin and I recently discovered we’re book twins; not only are our books debuting on May 23, they also have similar themes. Ever Since is about childhood sexual abuse and how that trauma continues to affect the life of my main character, Virginia.
Both books deal with losing your voice because of shame. Robin and I talked over these themes. Note: answers have been edited for length and clarity.
Alena: I thought your trigger warning was done really well. In it you say: “If you are not ready for this journey, I understand. However, if you are ready, just know that while this will be difficult, Malaya will come out on the other side, just as her name suggests: free.”
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
As I’ve been reading reviews of Ever Since, I’ve realized that despite the trigger warnings, maybe some readers weren’t prepared for the content. Can you talk a little bit about the way you came up with this warning, which is very sensitive, and even gives permission to potential readers to skip it if they don’t feel ready?
Robin: This book took me a long time because I was not in a good place to write it a decade ago. It would not have had the nuance or sensitivity that it did, because I victim-blamed myself. When I wrote that trigger warning it was with the awareness that not everyone would be in the same place as me. Look how long it took me. I tried to come at it from that place.
A reader asked me if I was going to put trigger warnings on my website. There was a big discussion on BookTok about feeling blindsided, even with trigger warnings. So I wrote very specific warnings, even where language might be considered abusive and why. I wanted people to know that even things like; “I’m the only one that loves you,” is abusive. People should want you to have a whole support network.
I knew that there would be people who just couldn’t read the story, and I had to be okay with that.
A: I was struck by how compassionate and caring of your reader your trigger warnings are. I think we both wrote our stories to help people who had experienced abuse, so to see that a few readers who felt triggered by Ever Since was really sad.
R: I feel like that speaks to how we’re not all going to have the same experience even when we have the same kind of abuse.
A: Early on in Oceans there is a particular monster called an Aswang which Malaya feels is stalking her. The intensity of her fear grows with the level of abuse she’s dealing with. She says: “When they are loudest, TIK TIK, that means they are farthest away. You still have time to run, and you want to race toward the guttural roar. It forces you to fight your every instinct. It’s the almost undetectable tik tik. tik tik. tik tik. that should scare you because the creature is right over your shoulder, and all is lost.”
I wondered if this is a metaphor for gaslighting, as in going against what you feel compelled (by the gaslighting) to do, keeps you safe. What was your inspiration for writing it this way?
R: I did write the Aswang as this metaphorical monster before the monsters really take shape. It becomes a very literal monster to show that even when you escape abuse, it still has real life ramifications; there were still things that she had to address in her real life to heal.
When we first see it, it’s representative of Malaya blaming herself. She thinks that that one wrong choice has infected her life with darkness, but this darkness came from a source, her abuser. And so that gaslighting is the fallout and the monster represents that. When you’re being gaslight, you stop trusting yourself. It becomes very hard to know how to navigate your own life. So here was this monster that I wanted to show the mental and then the physical warfare.
A: Malaya feels powerless in the beginning, trapped in a relationship with Ian. There’s a moment when Malaya says to herself “I fucked up my life before, but now I’m fucking with everyone else’s.” Which seems to imply that by escaping her abuse she was hurting the people she loved, which I think is a major fear that women have when they leave abusive partners; fear of disappointing people, not living up to expectations, disrupting the status-quo, or even the fear of hurting the partner they’re trying to leave.
It leads me to think that, in the beginning at least, Malaya feels like she doesn’t belong in a life where she isn’t being abused.
R: The thing is about that is who creates that feeling in us? It’s not us. I think it comes from a sense of loyalty you’ve learned. But very much from an abuser stripping your power. An abuser making you feel like you’re not worth anything.
A: I did want to ask you about feeling trapped by shame. It’s hard to recognize that the shame isn’t because you did something wrong. It’s basically injected into you by your abuser, but it feels like it’s because you’re a shameful person. When I wrote Virginia, I tried to write her as feeling so destroyed by the abuse and her shame. And the hardest thing is that society blames survivors as well.
R: How do we write a victim blaming themselves but make sure that the reader knows that is a sign of abuse and not actually truth. What we have, in real life, are people going “I would never be in that situation. I would just leave.”
Why are we not focusing on the abuser? That’s what’s so hard about our books, that our main characters are internalizing so much of the blame. What we’re saying is that you can’t separate the trauma that happens from the abuser, from anything that happens in their life after the abuse. We’re not going to take that blame anymore.
A: One of the most important things about both of our books, I believe, is how our personal experiences informed our writing. I know that I couldn’t have written Ever Since if I hadn’t experienced something similar. I think I was driven to write it because of how my abuse impacted me. I wanted to not only share my story but join the conversation among survivors of abuse that had done so much good for me. (And now here we are, having this great conversation!) Do you think your experience with abuse motivated you and informed your writing? What role, if any, did your lived experiences and history with trauma and abuse play in the creation of Oceans?
R: I avoided it for so long. I was in a memoir writing class and a professor asked me to write about a time I almost died. I have almost drowned many times.
A: Wow, and then you wrote a book where water plays this major, transformative roll.
R: Water is very significant in my writing. I didn’t realize it until the professor pointed it out. I’d written about this time when I had gone surfing during a hurricane. I don’t mean literally during the hurricane but the hurricane feeds the ocean; several days before it starts the waves are very thrilling and dangerous. I had not been surfing that long. I felt like I was good at it, but not good enough to really read the waves. I ended up in a very dangerous situation.
My professor asked me why I went out there. I said I was 17, and 17-year-olds do reckless things. She said, I believe that but there’s something more here.
At the time I was very alienated from everyone. I felt like I couldn’t really talk to anybody. And it all stemmed from this abusive relationship that I was entrenched in. When I was fighting these waves and I was going under, I wondered if it would be easier to let go. Like, who would miss me? I was so shaded with this darkness. I felt like I was so damaged. There was no way I could ever come back from this darkness.
I came out of the waves knowing that I didn’t want to be in that relationship anymore. But it still took me a year to leave. I was not strong enough.
A: That scene really spoke to me. I’ve felt that way many times. I think we owe you a thank you for sharing it.
R: I need to tell this story. All these people want you to just know you’re in an abusive relationship and leave. But they have stripped you of your power and made you feel like they’re the only one who will listen to you and care for you. It’s not easy.
Ever Since and When Oceans Rise are about telling stories. More importantly, they’re about the power of telling your own story, even when it’s hard, even when society pushes back. The books end with a sense of hope. Our main characters reconnect with the family and friends they alienated and find the strength to ask for help.
Meet the authors
Alena Bruzas grew up in Seattle, spent some time in Olympia, and somehow ended up in Lincoln, Nebraska. She writes books for teens and adults of all sorts, and hopes her writing finds the people who need it most. She also volunteers for progressive nonprofits and sometimes makes dinner for her family, when she’s not too busy worrying about commas and wandering the prairie.
https://www.instagram.com/alenabeee/
Robin Alvarez is a beach bum living in the desert with her husband and two kids. She has worked in news stations, made TV commercials, edited high-end wedding videos, crafted industrial animations, been a photographer, a painter, and an English teacher. After having kids, she switched to working from home by teaching Chinese students online and returned to school to get her masters in creative writing. Robin was co-editor of the literary magazine The Sage, in which her short stories have been published. She has written for The Bend Business, and she works at Sul Ross University.
In her free time, Robin enjoys watching K-dramas while doing face masks, singing karaoke poorly, making her kids costumes, and swimming with her family.
https://www.instagram.com/authorrobinalvarez/
https://www.tiktok.com/@robiiehood
About Ever Since
An intense, beautiful debut about the power of finding your voice and sharing your story after trauma. Perfect for fans of Nina LaCour and Kathleen Glasgow.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Seventeen-year-old Virginia makes bad choices. In fact, she’s That Kind of Girl, according to the whispers. But as long as she has her tight group of best friends by her side, she’s able to ignore the gossipers. Until she finds herself spending time with Rumi, Poppy’s boyfriend. Breaking with tradition, she doesn’t hook up with Rumi. Worse, she falls in love with him.
While Virginia and Rumi’s relationship grows in secret, she discovers that his little sister, Lyra, is being groomed for abuse. The soon-to-be-abuser is a respected member of the community, and only Virginia knows who he is and what he does. If she stays quiet, Lyra will become a victim. But coming forward feels equally impossible.
ISBN-13: 9780593616178
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Publication date: 05/23/2023
Age Range: 14 – 17 Years
About When Oceans Rise
Submerged in a toxic relationship and disconnected from everyone, she turns to the sea to decide her fate. Its decision? Toss her to the sea witch.
Seventeen-year-old Malaya is cursed. In her family, every girl’s first love ends in death after falling for someone evil. Good thing Malaya’s dream guy isn’t monstrous.
Except the curse is real and preventing Malaya from noticing how much he has gaslit and isolated her until she can’t be saved. With no other options, the sea witch is the only one to help her.
Bartering her voice for a new life where she and her abusive boyfriend never met, Malaya accidentally swaps places with an alternate timeline version of herself who never made her mistakes. As she tries to undo the switch, the sea witch uses Malaya’s voice to unleash Filipino mythological creatures into the worlds.
Can a champion, an alternate timeline sister, and Malaya fight these beasts and stop the sea witch before she destroys both timelines?
ISBN-13: 9781956183160
Publisher: Creative James Media
Publication date: 05/23/2023
Age Range: 13 – 18 Years
Filed under: Guest Post
About Amanda MacGregor
Amanda MacGregor works in an elementary library, loves dogs, and can be found on Twitter @CiteSomething.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
SLJ Blog Network
The Tidal Wave of A.I. Children’s Books is Upon Us
Fuse 8 n’ Kate: Kitten’s First Full Moon by Kevin Henkes
Hilda and Twig | This Week’s Comics
The Seven Bills That Will Safeguard the Future of School Librarianship
Gayle Forman Visits The Yarn!
ADVERTISEMENT