SUBSCRIBE
SUBSCRIBE
SLJ Blog Network +
  • 100 Scope Notes
  • A Fuse #8 Production
  • Good Comics for Kids
  • Heavy Medal: A Mock Newbery Blog
  • Teen Librarian Toolbox
  • The Classroom Bookshelf
  • The Yarn
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • About TLT
  • Reviews
    • Book Reviews
    • A to Z Book Lists
    • Book Review Policy
  • Teen Issues
  • Middle Grade Mondays
  • Programs
    • TPiB
    • Tech Talk
  • Professional
    • Teen Services 101
    • Things We Didn’t Learn in Library School
  • MakerSpace
  • Projects
    • #SVYALit
    • #FSYALit
    • #MHYALit
    • #Poverty in YA Lit

February 9, 2020 by Karen Jensen, MLS

Sunday Reflections: Dear Adults, Please Stop Talking About How Much You Hate Your Body in Front of My Children

February 9, 2020 by Karen Jensen, MLS   Leave a Comment

A couple of months ago, The Teen told me about a teacher who was eating a salad at lunch and talked to their students about being on a diet and needing to lose weight.

Another couple of friends were on a diet and talked about it a lot in front of my children.

A family member told my kids how many calories were in each snack as she handed it to them throughout the course of a visit.

And last night, my 11-year-old and her troop were selling Girl Scout cookies. A lot of people politely declined, following it up with some statement or other about how they were on a diet or needed to lose weight. A simple no thank you will suffice.

SCROLL TO KEEP READING THIS POST

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

As you support the Girl Scouts during cookie season, please consider this note pic.twitter.com/5OGqGOLvwF

— Teen Librarian Toolbox (@TLT16) February 8, 2020

The first time one of my daughters commented on their body negatively they were 7. And as someone who has struggled with a body image issue and eating disorder since middle school, it broke my heart and filled me with fear. I’ve hated the skin I’m in for 47 because no one ever told me I could or should love it and I don’t want that for my children.

I’ve read 1 million parenting books on how to help your daughter love their body and the one thing that is mentioned over and over again is to be careful about how you look at and talk about your body in front of them. I have worked really hard to deconstruct my own issues and not project them onto my girls. It turns out what I can’t control is the other adults that have influence on them.

In our society we are bombarded with millions of subtle and not so subtle messages every day that enforce unrealistic and harmful body image messages. From the toys we buy to the TV and movies we watch to the ads we see on billboards as we drive down the freeway, we are subjected to so many messages that make it clear that thin (and tall and white) are beautiful.

I know very few people who are happy in the skin they’re in. And we communicate this to the children in our lives in a variety of ways and perpetuate the cycle. We talk about being fat, losing weight, and communicate our self hatred on a daily basis. It’s exhausting and once you learn to recognize it, it’s hard to escape how insidious it is.

Don’t get me wrong, I do talk with my girls about food, just as I talk with them about other issues like consent and healthy relationships. We talk about our bodies needing a wide variety of nutrients to function properly and how to look at the foods we eat and the range of nutrients we are or are not receiving. We talk about calcium building bones, vitamin c helping to build strong immune systems, and how other nutrients support the nervous system. My husband has high blood pressure so we talk about diet in terms of having a healthy diet to help support healthy heart function, for example. You can talk about health, wellness and nutrition without body shaming and making young kids hate their bodies as they drown in negative self esteem.

Growing up, I heard a lot about how it takes a village. And I have found this to be true and both positive and negative ways. I would love it if the adults in the life of my children would stop talking about how much they hate their bodies in front of them. I hate that we have all learned to hate ourselves and our bodies so much that we do this without even thinking about how we’re projecting our issues onto our children.

My sincere hope is that you love yourself and your body. But if you are one of the millions of adults who have bought into the lie that you don’t deserve to for whatever reason, please consider helping to stop the cycle by refraining from talking about it in front of the children. If you are an adult who works with youth, I hope that you understand and will consider what type of an impact your words and actions have on the youth you serve and talk about your body and diet in healthy ways. The children are listening.

Filed under: Sunday Reflections

SHARE:

Read or Leave Comments

About Karen Jensen, MLS

Karen Jensen has been a Teen Services Librarian for almost 30 years. She created TLT in 2011 and is the co-editor of The Whole Library Handbook: Teen Services with Heather Booth (ALA Editions, 2014).

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

March 2023

Sunday Reflections: My Child Deserves Representation in the Library

by Karen Jensen, MLS

July 2022

Sunday Reflections: What Do We Mean Both Sides of the Holocaust?

by Karen Jensen, MLS

June 2022

Sunday Reflections: On being a Librarian and a Christian parent to an LGBTQ kid with a uterus in 2022

by Karen Jensen, MLS

August 2021

Sunday Reflections: Endings and Beginnings

by Karen Jensen, MLS

July 2021

Sunday Reflections: In Which TLT Turns 10 and I Reflect

by Karen Jensen, MLS

ADVERTISEMENT

SLJ Blog Network

100 Scope Notes

A JUST ONE FLAKE Preorder Secret

by Travis Jonker

A Fuse #8 Production

Review of the Day: The Lost Year by Katherine Marsh

by Betsy Bird

Good Comics for Kids

Superman vs. Meshi | Review

by Johanna

Heavy Medal

Nonfiction Round-Up: A look at Mock Newbery possibilities, from plastic straws to World War II

by Steven Engelfried

Teen Librarian Toolbox

Grief, Hope, and Bittersweet Endings, a guest post by Victoria Wlosok

by Amanda MacGregor

The Classroom Bookshelf

The Classroom Bookshelf is Moving

by Erika Thulin Dawes

The Yarn

‘A Buoyant Ode to Joy’ Lane Smith Visits The Yarn

by Travis Jonker

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Articles on SLJ

4 Adult Crossover Titles for Teens to Read This Summer | We Are Kid Lit Collective

6 Multimedia Resources for Teaching ‘How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents’ | Refreshing the Canon

Resources for Besieged Librarians

SLJ and NCTE Reveal 2023 Refreshing the Canon Selections

7 Books that Take on Back-to-School Mayhem | Picture Books SPOTLIGHT

Commenting for all posts is disabled after 30 days.

ADVERTISEMENT

Archives

Follow This Blog

Enter your email address below to receive notifications of new blog posts by email.

This coverage is free for all visitors. Your support makes this possible.

This coverage is free for all visitors. Your support makes this possible.

Primary Sidebar

  • News & Features
  • Reviews+
  • Technology
  • School Libraries
  • Public Libraries
  • Age Level
  • Ideas
  • Blogs
  • Classroom
  • Diversity
  • People
  • Job Zone

Reviews+

  • Book Lists
  • Best Books
  • Media
  • Reference
  • Series Made Simple
  • Tech
  • Review for SLJ
  • Review Submissions

SLJ Blog Network

  • 100 Scope Notes
  • A Fuse #8 Production
  • Good Comics for Kids
  • Heavy Medal
  • Neverending Search
  • Teen Librarian Toolbox
  • The Classroom Bookshelf
  • The Yarn

Resources

  • 2022 Youth Media Awards
  • The Newbery at 100: SLJ Celebrates the 100th Anniversary of the Award
  • Special Report | School Libraries 2021
  • Summer Reading 2021
  • Series Made Simple Spring 2021
  • SLJ Diverse Books Survey
  • Summer Programming Survey
  • Research
  • White Papers / Case Studies
  • School Librarian of the Year
  • Mathical Book Prize Collection Development Awards
  • Librarian/Teacher Collaboration Award

Events & PD

  • In-Person Events
  • Online Courses
  • Virtual Events
  • Webcasts
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Subscribe
  • Media Inquiries
  • Newsletter Sign Up
  • Content Submissions
  • Data Privacy
  • Terms of Use
  • Terms of Sale
  • FAQs
  • Diversity Policy
  • Careers at MSI


COPYRIGHT © 2023


COPYRIGHT © 2023