The Building Blocks to Change, a guest post by Nancy Richardson Fischer
Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones whose parents told them that they could do anything, be anything, and accomplish anything. Perhaps, when you were a kid, you were picked first for every team in gym class, never went through an awkward stage, and sailed through high school, college, got your dream job, dream guy or gal or dog, and created a rose-colored universe, all without any hurdles or roadblocks. But I’m guessing that didn’t happen… because even if life seems easy for someone on the exterior, inside there are always challenges. And it’s those challenges, when shared that help shape self-perception and the views other people have of us.
I recall a gal in high school named Beth who was a cheerleader, great student, and very popular. I thought she had the world by the tail. But she was living with an alcoholic mother who was verbally and sometimes physically abusive. One night, I went to dinner at Beth’s house and her mom was so drunk she slurred, fell down, and made us a moldy frozen pizza for dinner, insisting we finish every bite. After that I saw Beth in a different light. She’d let me into her world and I realized she was thriving despite enormous challenges. She was a survivor.
Here’s a different kind of example. Bill was in my freshman high school class and had epilepsy. Everyone knew and most of the kids didn’t tease him, but they did avoid a friendship. One day we were summoned into a general assembly and that boy stood on stage in front of 400 students and did a presentation about epilepsy, how it had affected his life, his fears, hopes, and what we could all do to help him. It was so incredibly brave. More than that, he opened a window to his interior world, allowed us to understand and sympathize… and that opened the door to friendships. After that day, Bill was a warrior to us and we did everything possible to help him navigate his condition.
People only care deeply about people they know. And part of being known is sharing experiences, successes, failures and fears. By sharing and allowing others to truly understand you, and to mirror what they see, versus what you believe, self-perception can also change for the better.
This idea is what led me to write The Speed of Falling Objects, my new young adult novel (HarperCollins/Inkyard Press Oct. 1, 2019). The story revolves around a timid young woman named Danny who believes she’s defective, inferior and an embarrassment because of an accident when she was seven, and her parents’ subsequent divorce. When her estranged father, a famous TV survivalist, invites Danny to join him and his guest, a teen movie idol, for an episode of his show being filmed in the Amazon Rainforest, she jumps at the chance to renew their relationship. But their small plane crashes in the Amazon and all three must face deadly perils, dark secrets and discover hidden strengths to survive and find their way home. Danny’s perceptions of who she is and who she wants to become changes dramatically as she shares her fears, sees herself in others’ eyes, and embraces her unique abilities.
Authors write what they know. I have always believed that I’m inferior and defective. I’m not looking for sympathy! My path was winding and filled with obstacles, but today I have a great husband, dream job writing books and a life that exceeded my expectations. I just want to share that the things we believe, or were told about ourselves early in life may not be true, but we still carry them somewhere inside. And it’s the heavy baggage we can’t actually see that will, in reality, lead us to sink or swim unless we’re willing to unload it.
Here’s my story in a nutshell. From a young age I was told I could accomplish some things, be some things, but not everything. My parents weren’t cruel, they were just a product of their own parents, came from small towns, and didn’t believe the entire world was there for the taking… just a little slice. So the message, for me, was that there were things beyond my grasp, impossible things. I took that to mean that I was inferior—incapable of achieving all my dreams. In addition, I’ve had some health issues over the years. My back is tricky… meaning I’ve had ruptured discs and a few surgeries. That led me to believe my body was defective.
So how did I become someone who lives to ski, kitesurf, and cycle? How did I become an author? How did I find the courage to put myself out there and write novels? Part of the reason is that I’m stubborn. I truly believe I’m defective and inferior to this day! But I refused to miss out on the life I want to live. So I shared my story, my fears, my dreams, with friends I trusted. And what I saw reflected in their eyes was someone who was braver and tougher than she believed… and had some writing talent. I took those building blocks and created a ladder that allowed me to climb past my perceptions and insecurities.
It’s HARD to share your doubts, to open yourself up to people who might not always be kind. But no situation is a failure if you’re being authentic. By doing so you discover strengths you never knew you had, and also come to realize that your own struggles and story can actually help other people overcome their hurdles in life.
Here’s the takeaway: Don’t allow negative self-perceptions and vulnerabilities to prevent you from opening a door or window into your life. One day you will realize that your early beliefs are just steps on a road that must be climbed in order to achieve your dreams.
Meet Nancy Richardson Fischer
Nancy Richardson Fischer is the author of When Elephants Fly and The Speed of Falling Objects ((HarperCollins/Inkyard Press Oct. 1, 2019). She has authored multiple sport autobiographies and Star Wars books for LucasFilm.
Visit her website at www.nancyrichardsonfischer.com
About The Speed of Falling Objects
From the author of When Elephants Fly comes an exceptional new novel about falling down, risking everything and embracing what makes us unique. Don’t miss this compulsively readable novel about the most unlikely of heroes.
Danger “Danny” Danielle Warren is no stranger to falling. After losing an eye in a childhood accident, she had to relearn her perception of movement and space. Now Danny keeps her head down, studies hard, and works to fulfill everyone else’s needs. She’s certain that her mom’s bitterness and her TV star father’s absence are her fault. If only she were more—more athletic, charismatic, attractive—life would be perfect.
When her dad calls with an offer to join him to film the next episode of his popular survivalist show, Danny jumps at the chance to prove she’s not the disappointment he left behind. Being on set with the hottest teen movie idol of the moment, Gus Price, should be the cherry on top. But when their small plane crashes in the Amazon, and a terrible secret is revealed, Danny must face the truth about the parent she worships and falling for Gus, and find her own inner strength and worth to light the way home.
Publisher: Inkyard Press
Publication date: 10/01/2019
Filed under: Guest Post
About Amanda MacGregor
Amanda MacGregor works in an elementary library, loves dogs, and can be found on Twitter @CiteSomething.
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