Sunday Reflections: Sometimes You Find Yourself at The Exact Right Place at the Exact Right Time, or what happened when we went to meet Dav Pilkey
Yesterday I took Thing 2 to a big event in the Fort Worth area to met author Dav Pilkey. Here’s my deep, dark secret: I have never read a Dav Pilkey book and I haven’t really heard much about him as an author because he’s one of those authors who has really never needed my help. His books have been flying off of the shelf for years; Kids and early teens have been loving them and asking for them by name and it just seemed to be going superbly for him. So I did not know until I sat in that audience yesterday and heard him talk about having dyslexia and ADHD that he did. And to be honest if I had heard this years ago, it probably wouldn’t have meant as much to me as it did when I sat in the audience with my own child who has dyslexia and ADHD. Everything I know and think about these topics changed when I learned more about what life with these diagnosis is like for our kids.
Yesterday was one of those moments that happen in life where you find yourself in the exact right place in the exact right moment and you have no idea that it is about to happen. As regular readers know, Thing 2 and I have been struggling to navigate the world of dyslexia and ADHD ourselves. She was diagnosed with dyslexia a couple of years ago and ADHD last year, although to be quite frankly honest I was pretty sure she had ADHD from the moment she was born. She’s had a whole host of various health issues and such since birth and it’s been . . . challenging to figure out how to keep her healthy, thriving and happy.
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Last year, I got a lot of email messages from teachers about her inability to focus and her tendency to rush so quickly through assignments that she just didn’t do well. Add in the dyslexia and it’s like a bomb going off when it comes to academic achievement. Last year was rough, really really rough. It’s a miracle any of us survived last year, and we have the battle scars to prove it. Unfortunately for our kids, these scars are often found on their souls and on their self-esteem, which is why we really must do better for them.
Then there are the kids who tease. They call her stupid. Because she has some GI issues she had many years where she wasn’t really absorbing the nutrients of her food and just kind of stopped growing. She went from being in the 90% for her age to the 4th%. Kids love to tease her for being so small and she basically hates it. In the second or third grade, a group of girls created a “Bully XX Club” (the XX is a stand in for her name). The 40 Book Challenge last year made her hate reading, herself and me.
This year I’ve already had to fight with the school about her intervention and her being excluded from some of the classes she wanted and I would argue needed to take. I’ve learned that when you have a child who doesn’t fit the standard mold you spend a lot of time worrying, stressing, fighting, advocating and just trying to figure out how to navigate raising a not so typical child in a world that very much wants everyone to be the same. It can be overwhelming and discouraging and just plain exhausting, for everyone.
So here the both of us sat about to meet an author that she seemed really interested in meeting. His presentation began and it was engaging and humorous and then – he started sharing with all of the kids that he himself had dyslexia and ADHD and what that was like for him. This is a man who has written bestsellers, had his books turned into movies and musicals, and now had a regular TV show on Netflix and he was sharing with my child that he was just like her and you know what, it was all okay. He was okay. He was happy and healthy and thriving and succeeding even though he had spent most of his childhood years in trouble with teachers and struggled in school.
It was inspiring and rewarding and comforting and meaningful. Every once in a while you end up exactly where you need to be even if you didn’t know that was where you were heading. I don’t think this will make everything magically better for her. She’ll still have dyslexia and ADHD and we’ll all struggle to find ways to help her be successful in school, but she has a little more hope and little less shame about it all then she did before meeting Dav Pilkey, and that means everything. Because Dav Pilkey was willing to share his truth with these kids, a lot of kids got exactly what they needed to live their lives with a little more hope and belief in themselves. Dav Pilkey is now one of my favorite people, to be honest. I saw first hand what he meant to these kids and it was powerful and transformative.
Last night as we made the long drive home my child read one of the Dogman books out loud to me from the backseat of the car. It was the best podcast I ever listened to.
If you would like to read about my journey as a parent to a dyslexic child, I have some blog posts about there here:
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About Karen Jensen, MLS
Karen Jensen has been a Teen Services Librarian for almost 30 years. She created TLT in 2011 and is the co-editor of The Whole Library Handbook: Teen Services with Heather Booth (ALA Editions, 2014).
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