SUBSCRIBE
SUBSCRIBE
SLJ Blog Network +
  • 100 Scope Notes
  • A Fuse #8 Production
  • Good Comics for Kids
  • Heavy Medal: A Mock Newbery Blog
  • Teen Librarian Toolbox
  • The Classroom Bookshelf
  • The Yarn
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • About TLT
  • Reviews
    • Book Reviews
    • A to Z Book Lists
    • Book Review Policy
  • Teen Issues
  • Middle Grade Mondays
  • Programs
    • TPiB
    • Tech Talk
  • Professional
    • Teen Services 101
    • Things We Didn’t Learn in Library School
  • MakerSpace
  • Projects
    • #SVYALit
    • #FSYALit
    • #MHYALit
    • #Poverty in YA Lit

May 8, 2016 by Karen Jensen, MLS

Sunday Reflections: We Are More Than Mothers, We Are More Than Our Bodies

May 8, 2016 by Karen Jensen, MLS   1 comments

I have written and deleted a post in this space for hours now. It seems like here we are on Mother’s Day so I ought to write a post about mothers somehow, but the words are not coming to me.

I am a mother.

Picture taken by Heather Lisenby Smith
Picture taken by Heather Lisenby Smith

But I am more than a mother.

I am Karen. I am a YA librarian. I am a reader. I am a dreamer. I am a wife, a sister, a friend, a daughter . . . I am a wanna be photographer and artist. I am an organizer. I am a passionate and sensitive soul who wants the world to be a better place. I am an advocate for teens and mental health awareness and hyperemesis gravidarum. I am a feminist.

SCROLL TO KEEP READING THIS POST

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

We live in a world that’s very hard on women. We care much more about women’s bodies than we do women as a whole. We care about the ways in which women’s bodies look and whether or not they can bring new babies into this world. Women are supposed to sacrifice everything for these two things, to fit cultural beauty standards and to mother our children.

The other day I drove to work and a song came on the radio where a man sang, “your body is a blessing”. Not you are a blessing. Not your love is a blessing. Your body is a blessing. Shazam revealed that the song is If It Ain’t Love by Jason Derulo, in which Jason makes the common mistake of suggesting that good sex is love (“if it ain’t love, why does it feel so good?”) and of course celebrates the body of the women he is with. In and of itself, I don’t care. It could be a good song, but it’s also a part of a larger pattern, a message that is communicated over and over and over again (with a lot more overs in there): Your body is a wonderland, your banging body, your smoking body . . . . Beginning at a very young age we tell girls that their bodies, the way that they look, is of primary importance.

But it’s not just that you have to keep your body smoking hot, you also have to be the world’s perfect mom. People will start asking you when you are a teenager, “do you want to have children when you grow up?” I mean, I didn’t even know what I wanted to do for a career, how was I supposed to be able to make such a big decision about whether or not I wanted to have children. Then when I got married, forget about it, that’s all anyone asked: When, when, when, when will you have children???????? And women who don’t want to be mothers or for whatever reason can’t be mothers, the world is so very cruel to them.

Now I have children and I am supposed to sacrifice everything for them. My career. My health and safety. Time with my friends. Coffee, cola, processed meats and soft cheeses. Wait, that part is only while your pregnant, but you get my point. When you are a woman, your body is never your own. People comment on it. They touch it without asking. They want to control it. If we’re not careful, soon it will be heavily regulated. How soon before they pass laws saying that women of childbearing age can’t drink coffee or colas or processed meats and soft cheeses just in case . . . . ?

I am a mother. I am, more specifically, the mother to two little girls. It’s true, I adore them. I want the world to care about them, all of them. Not just their bodies. I want them to be honored and valued and respected. I want them to know that they don’t have to be mothers to matter. I want them to know that they don’t have to look “perfect” to matter. I want them to know that who they are is about so much more than fulfilling the sexual desires of a man or mothering a child.

We are more than mothers. We are more than our bodies.

We are complex, fully formed human beings with thoughts, feelings, passions, interests and desires.

We are multitude.

I love being their mother and I think that the greatest gift I can give them this Mother’s Day is to remind them that I am more than just their mother. I am a complex, richly nuanced person. And whatever path their life takes them on and whatever roles they choose for themselves, they are too.

Filed under: Sunday Reflections

SHARE:

Read or Leave Comments

About Karen Jensen, MLS

Karen Jensen has been a Teen Services Librarian for almost 30 years. She created TLT in 2011 and is the co-editor of The Whole Library Handbook: Teen Services with Heather Booth (ALA Editions, 2014).

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

March 2023

Sunday Reflections: My Child Deserves Representation in the Library

by Karen Jensen, MLS

July 2022

Sunday Reflections: What Do We Mean Both Sides of the Holocaust?

by Karen Jensen, MLS

June 2022

Sunday Reflections: On being a Librarian and a Christian parent to an LGBTQ kid with a uterus in 2022

by Karen Jensen, MLS

August 2021

Sunday Reflections: Endings and Beginnings

by Karen Jensen, MLS

July 2021

Sunday Reflections: In Which TLT Turns 10 and I Reflect

by Karen Jensen, MLS

ADVERTISEMENT

SLJ Blog Network

100 Scope Notes

BLUE FLOATS AWAY Turns Two!

by Travis Jonker

A Fuse #8 Production

Faced with a Parenting Dilemma? Write a Book About It! Jacob Grant Comes By to Talk About NO FAIR

by Betsy Bird

Good Comics for Kids

Pardalita | Preview

by Brigid Alverson

Heavy Medal

March suggestions: early Mock Newbery possibilities

by Emily Mroczek-Bayci

Teen Librarian Toolbox

Write What You Know, a guest post by MADE OF STARS author Jenna Voris

by Karen Jensen, MLS

The Classroom Bookshelf

The Classroom Bookshelf is Moving

by Erika Thulin Dawes

The Yarn

Jarrett and Jerome Pumphrey Try Something New

by Travis Jonker

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Articles on SLJ

Three Creepy and Kooky Books for 'Wednesday' Fans | Read-Alikes

10 Manga Titles for Teens Who Watch Anime

9 Books about Zines for Teens and Tweens

Mental Health Awareness Month: 9 Books About Teens in Therapy

10 Adventure-Filled Middle Grade Reads | Summer Reading 2020

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kristen Rademacher says

    May 10, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    Beautifully said. I too am a mother but am so many other things including a YA librarian. I was gifted “time to read” for mother’s day by my two little boys and my husband. They acknowledge that I rarely, if ever, get uninterrupted reading time, time I don’t have to feel guilty about not doing anything but devouring the newest YA book I’ve been salivating over. So they gave me time. It was so nice to have that acknowledge and seen by the boys in my life. That I am their mother but also a girl who loves books passionately. Who loves time to herself and needs it. Who loves good food and chocolate to snack on that she doesn’t have to cook or clean up. It was a great day in which I felt very understood and acknowledged. And I wish that for every girl out there!

ADVERTISEMENT

Archives

Follow This Blog

Enter your email address below to receive notifications of new blog posts by email.

This coverage is free for all visitors. Your support makes this possible.

This coverage is free for all visitors. Your support makes this possible.

Primary Sidebar

  • News & Features
  • Reviews+
  • Technology
  • School Libraries
  • Public Libraries
  • Age Level
  • Ideas
  • Blogs
  • Classroom
  • Diversity
  • People
  • Job Zone

Reviews+

  • Book Lists
  • Best Books
  • Media
  • Reference
  • Series Made Simple
  • Tech
  • Review for SLJ
  • Review Submissions

SLJ Blog Network

  • 100 Scope Notes
  • A Fuse #8 Production
  • Good Comics for Kids
  • Heavy Medal
  • Neverending Search
  • Teen Librarian Toolbox
  • The Classroom Bookshelf
  • The Yarn

Resources

  • 2022 Youth Media Awards
  • The Newbery at 100: SLJ Celebrates the 100th Anniversary of the Award
  • Special Report | School Libraries 2021
  • Summer Reading 2021
  • Series Made Simple Spring 2021
  • SLJ Diverse Books Survey
  • Summer Programming Survey
  • Research
  • White Papers / Case Studies
  • School Librarian of the Year
  • Mathical Book Prize Collection Development Awards
  • Librarian/Teacher Collaboration Award

Events & PD

  • In-Person Events
  • Online Courses
  • Virtual Events
  • Webcasts
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Subscribe
  • Media Inquiries
  • Newsletter Sign Up
  • Content Submissions
  • Data Privacy
  • Terms of Use
  • Terms of Sale
  • FAQs
  • Diversity Policy
  • Careers at MSI


COPYRIGHT © 2023


COPYRIGHT © 2023