SUBSCRIBE
SUBSCRIBE
SLJ Blog Network +
  • 100 Scope Notes
  • A Fuse #8 Production
  • Good Comics for Kids
  • Heavy Medal: A Mock Newbery Blog
  • Teen Librarian Toolbox
  • The Classroom Bookshelf
  • The Yarn
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • About TLT
  • Reviews
    • Book Reviews
    • A to Z Book Lists
    • Book Review Policy
  • Teen Issues
  • Middle Grade Mondays
  • Programs
    • TPiB
    • Tech Talk
  • Professional
    • Teen Services 101
    • Things We Didn’t Learn in Library School
  • MakerSpace
  • Projects
    • #SVYALit
    • #FSYALit
    • #MHYALit
    • #Poverty in YA Lit

September 15, 2014 by Karen Jensen, MLS

Middle Grade Monday: Let’s Talk About Sex

September 15, 2014 by Karen Jensen, MLS   1 comments

Let’s talk about what?! Yes, I said it. Sex.

Most middle grade students have heard of it – some have overheard conversations in hushed tones, some have watched explicit cable TV shows. I’m just saying there’s a range. A REALLY big range.

For better or worse, I’ve spent most of my adult life helping my friends raise their children. Pretty early on, I realized I’m more comfortable and more able (both in terms of time and temperament) to answer the involved questions children often have. Where does the rain come from, Auntie Robin? Why is the sky blue and the grass green instead of the reverse? Where do all the birds go in the winter? Once you prove yourself willing to give detailed answers, you’re on the hook forever.

SCROLL TO KEEP READING THIS POST

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

When you are good (and reliable) about answering questions, kids start to come to you for all of their information needs. And isn’t that what we, as librarians, want? I know I do. The earliest question I’ve answered about sex came from a 5 year old – “How does the baby get IN the mommy, Auntie Robin?” Believe it or not, there is a fairly easy (and 5 year old appropriate) explanation. His main concern was actually whether or not the mommy had to be cut open. Reference interviewing is a valuable skill. About a year later he wanted to know how the baby gets out of the mommy, then why some twins are identical and some are fraternal. Which is how I ended up drawing a picture of a uterus and ovaries for a 6 year old.

Transition to every first quarter with the sixth grade students. They always find the books. I know they will. They are there for them, after all. Which books? These:

Every year I debate with myself – wait until they find them, or bring it up myself? The bonus to bringing it up myself is that I get to control the conversation, the attitudes, and the expectations involved in making use of these books. I don’t have to listen to choruses of “Ewww, that book is NASTY!” (For those of you who don’t live in the south, ‘nasty’ is a catch-all descriptor for anything having to do with sex.)

This year I chose the bring it up myself option. All of the books were checked out by the end of the 4th class. I have eight 6th grade classes. So I guess it’s half and half. I’ve found that it’s all in how you present the books and the expectations that you set for their use. Some of this is not going to make sense to those of you who work in public libraries. If you work in a school, though, here are my tips: 

  • Introduce the idea that the students are very different now than when they were in 2nd or 3rd grade. Ask them to think about the kinds of things they were interested in then and what they are interested in now. Some of them will be the same, some different. You may even want to have the students give examples of the books they were interested in at that period of their lives.
  • Talk with them about the older students at school. How are they different, how are they the same? Do they think they might have different interests when they are in 8th grade than they do now?

  • Some of the books in the library are not going to be interesting to them this year, either because the book is about something they are ‘so over’ or because it is about something they aren’t ready for yet. Discuss how they might feel about some books they aren’t ready for yet – some they will find boring, some might make them uncomfortable. Explain that if a book makes them uncomfortable, they are perfectly welcome to return it and get a different one. Just because a book isn’t for them doesn’t mean it’s not the perfect book for someone right now.

  • Once you’ve shown them the books, explain that they are books just for you, not for sharing. If something might make someone uncomfortable, we don’t want to confront them with it – that would be unkind. Just like you wouldn’t go to your three year old cousin with a picture of a baby animal being eaten by a predator, you don’t go around showing these books to others. If someone wants it, they can come put it on hold.
  • Remind them that it is important to wait until they are ready for the information to seek it out. If they cause a disruption in class with a book, they are probably not ready for it.

  • My final tip is to warn the classroom teacher before you begin this discussion. They will usually be all about it, once they realize that they don’t have to have the discussion themselves.

You should probably be aware that making it known to the students that you have this information and are willing to help them find the answers to their more sensitive questions will open you up to being the person they come to for all their information needs. Bummer.

Filed under: Middle Grade Monday

SHARE:

Read or Leave Comments

About Karen Jensen, MLS

Karen Jensen has been a Teen Services Librarian for almost 30 years. She created TLT in 2011 and is the co-editor of The Whole Library Handbook: Teen Services with Heather Booth (ALA Editions, 2014).

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

September 2015

Middle School Monday - The Shrunken Head (Curiosity House #1)

by Karen Jensen, MLS

September 2015

Middle Grade Monday - Changes

by Karen Jensen, MLS

September 2015

Middle Grade Monday - Confessions of an Imaginary Friend by Michelle Cuevas

by Karen Jensen, MLS

August 2015

Middle Grade Monday: There’s always next year: Things I’ve learned coordinating middle school volunteers (a guest post)

by Karen Jensen, MLS

August 2015

Middle Grade Monday Book Review - School for Sidekicks by Kelly McCullough

by Karen Jensen, MLS

ADVERTISEMENT

SLJ Blog Network

100 Scope Notes

The Yarn LIVE at ALA 2022!

by Travis Jonker

A Fuse #8 Production

Shining A Light Cover Reveal: A Talk with Author Veeda Bybee About the Trick With Collected Biographies

by Betsy Bird

Good Comics for Kids

Archie Jumbo Comics Digest #331 | Preview

by Brigid Alverson

Heavy Medal

Mock Newbery Update – Our List of First Half Suggestions

by Steven Engelfried

Teen Librarian Toolbox

Sunday Reflections: On being a Librarian and a Christian parent to an LGBTQ kid with a uterus in 2022

by Karen Jensen, MLS

The Classroom Bookshelf

The Classroom Bookshelf is Moving

by Erika Thulin Dawes

The Yarn

Shark Week, Vanilla Ice Cream, and the Honda CRV: Bob Shea and Brian Won Team Up for ADURABLE

by Travis Jonker

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Articles on SLJ

Duke MDs’ Prescription for Schools? Masks, with Enforcement, and Psychological Support for Teachers, Students.

8 YA BookTubers To Watch Right Now

37 Kidlit and YA Titles in Honor of Hispanic Heritage Month

Hilary Beard and Tim Madigan in Conversation on “The Burning” and the Tulsa Race Massacre

Three Debut YA Authors Explore Identity and Connection

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. readingunderground.org says

    September 16, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    How amazing that you are having these conversations with your students starting in middle school!

ADVERTISEMENT

Archives

Follow This Blog

Enter your email address below to receive notifications of new blog posts by email.

This coverage is free for all visitors. Your support makes this possible.

This coverage is free for all visitors. Your support makes this possible.

Primary Sidebar

  • News & Features
  • Reviews+
  • Technology
  • School Libraries
  • Public Libraries
  • Age Level
  • Ideas
  • Blogs
  • Classroom
  • Diversity
  • People
  • Job Zone

Reviews+

  • Book Lists
  • Best Books
  • Media
  • Reference
  • Series Made Simple
  • Tech
  • Review for SLJ
  • Review Submissions

SLJ Blog Network

  • 100 Scope Notes
  • A Fuse #8 Production
  • Good Comics for Kids
  • Heavy Medal
  • Neverending Search
  • Teen Librarian Toolbox
  • The Classroom Bookshelf
  • The Yarn

Resources

  • 2022 Youth Media Awards
  • The Newbery at 100: SLJ Celebrates the 100th Anniversary of the Award
  • Special Report | School Libraries 2021
  • Summer Reading 2021
  • Series Made Simple Spring 2021
  • SLJ Diverse Books Survey
  • Summer Programming Survey
  • Research
  • White Papers / Case Studies
  • School Librarian of the Year
  • Mathical Book Prize Collection Development Awards
  • Librarian/Teacher Collaboration Award

Events & PD

  • In-Person Events
  • Online Courses
  • Virtual Events
  • Webcasts
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Subscribe
  • Media Inquiries
  • Newsletter Sign Up
  • Content Submissions
  • Data Privacy
  • Terms of Use
  • Terms of Sale
  • FAQs
  • Diversity Policy
  • Careers at MSI


COPYRIGHT © 2022


COPYRIGHT © 2022