SUBSCRIBE
SUBSCRIBE
SLJ Blog Network +
  • 100 Scope Notes
  • A Fuse #8 Production
  • Good Comics for Kids
  • Heavy Medal: A Mock Newbery Blog
  • Teen Librarian Toolbox
  • The Classroom Bookshelf
  • The Yarn
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • About TLT
  • Reviews
    • Book Reviews
    • A to Z Book Lists
    • Book Review Policy
  • Teen Issues
  • Middle Grade Mondays
  • Programs
    • TPiB
    • Tech Talk
  • Professional
    • Teen Services 101
    • Things We Didn’t Learn in Library School
  • MakerSpace
  • Projects
    • #SVYALit
    • #FSYALit
    • #MHYALit
    • #Poverty in YA Lit

February 12, 2014 by Karen Jensen, MLS

Sex and Teens and Books – Oh My!

February 12, 2014 by Karen Jensen, MLS   Leave a Comment

Yesterday, someone expressed hesitation in recommending books that they perceive as “highly sexualized” to teens and quite the storm erupted surrounding the conversation.  The truth is, I can understand where everyone at some point takes a moment to ask these questions.  When I first became a librarian I was working on a Youth Ministry degree at a conservative Christian university.  And I remember very distinctly the moment when I was processing a bunch of horror books that I had purchased for my teen area and I questioned whether or not it was in line with my spiritual beliefs.  It was a real moment where I had to examine who I was, what I thought, what I believed, and whether or not working in the library was a real thing that I could do.

Hear Carrie Mesrobian Talk About Sex & Violence Here

Then one of my adolescent classes revealed a staggering fact: 80% of all decisions to become a Christian are made during the teenage years.  This is a very important formative time in development, it is a time when we try on roles, examine the world around us, and starting really deciding who we are going to be.  And I maintain that in order for teens to do that successfully, they need as much information as possible.  Real life information.  They need to understand how messy and complex and how broken and how glorious the human race can be.  And they need, if at all possible, to do this in the safest way possible.  Books – all types, even the razor sharp edginess of contemporary fiction – can be a safe place to do that.  And sadly, for far too many teens, they don’t need those books to tell them how unsafe and messy life can be, they are already living in that reality and these books helps affirm their life stories and give them a voice.

SCROLL TO KEEP READING THIS POST

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Ah but sex, sex makes us crazy.

We don’t like to talk to teens about sex.  We don’t want to think about teens having sex.  I get that, I really do.  I am a mom to two not yet teenage girls and I don’t want them having sex.  Not until they are 30 and married (Ha!). But what I do want is for them to have the information they need to make informed personal decisions about sex, I want them to be comfortable in their sexuality, and I want them to see all kinds of examples of what healthy sex can and does look like, and what it doesn’t when it is age appropriate.  I want them to be able to protect themselves, express themselves, and to not have a bunch of preconceived notions about sex and their personal identity informed by hamburger commercials and cartoons that seem to suggest there is only one right way for a woman to be.

So when they are ready, I want them to be able to read true to life stories that help them process this important part of their life and identity.  I don’t want outsiders – say a librarian who is not their mom – to make those decisions for me by determining what they can and can’t read. I don’t want others imposing their opinions and belief systems on my child, which is why as a librarian I refrain from doing that very thing onto other people’s children.

Kelly Jensen (No Relation!) Reminds Us All to RESPECT TEENAGERS

I think we all wrestle with this question from time to time, it is part of being human and caring about those we serve.  But we have to remember that service also means that we remove our personal opinions and belief systems out of the equation.  My job is to help make books accessible to the teens that want to read them, not to parent them.

Here is a look at some of the Tweets I sent out on the topic yesterday . . . It began as a conversation about Sex & Violence by Carrie Mesrobian and grew from there.

@nedwriting @catagator @elvenjaneite @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian Actually, I think the book is so much MORE than the title.
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@elvenjaneite @nedwriting @catagator @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian I think also, we stigmatize sex when talking w/teens & make healthy
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@elvenjaneite @nedwriting @catagator @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian sex decisions harder for them to make because of OUR (adult) issues
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@elvenjaneite @nedwriting @catagator @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian Talking about sex w/teens makes US uncomfortable, so they develop
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@elvenjaneite @nedwriting @catagator @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian all these weird thoughts about how it should be hidden and shame
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@elvenjaneite @nedwriting @catagator @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian When really we just don’t want to admit our kids are growing up.
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@elvenjaneite @nedwriting @catagator @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian And then it gets complicated because there are religious beliefs
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@elvenjaneite @nedwriting @catagator @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian ties in 4 many people, and we don’t want to cross those lines/offend
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@elvenjaneite @nedwriting @catagator @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian RA is not about what I think/feel. It ‘s about matching the request
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@elvenjaneite @nedwriting @catagator @hey_librarygirl @CarrieMesrobian Getting the book that meets the request – taking personal opinion out
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@nedwriting @CarrieMesrobian @catagator @hey_librarygirl I do think, though, that raising these types of questions can be good because 1/2
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@nedwriting @CarrieMesrobian @catagator @hey_librarygirl they remind us all of what it is we need to be doing, which is removing ourselves
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

@nedwriting @CarrieMesrobian @catagator @hey_librarygirl our personal thoughts/beliefs/opinions from the reader/book interchange of others
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) February 11, 2014

Filed under: Sex, Teen Issues

SHARE:

Read or Leave Comments

About Karen Jensen, MLS

Karen Jensen has been a Teen Services Librarian for almost 30 years. She created TLT in 2011 and is the co-editor of The Whole Library Handbook: Teen Services with Heather Booth (ALA Editions, 2014).

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

April 2014

In Our Mailbox: How do we guide teens in a safe & critical discussion of sex in YA literature?

by Karen Jensen, MLS

August 2021

We Need to Talk: An Interview with Wade Hudson, Cheryl Willis Hudson, and Brendan Kiely By Lisa Krok

by Karen Jensen, MLS

February 2021

Helping RevolTeens Fight the Mental Health Crisis, by Christine Lively

by Karen Jensen, MLS

February 2021

Sunday Reflections: The Things We Won't Buy, a Reflection on Generation Z, Conscious Capitalism, and "Cancel Culture"

by Karen Jensen, MLS

November 2020

The Death Penalty in YA Lit

by Karen Jensen, MLS

ADVERTISEMENT

SLJ Blog Network

100 Scope Notes

Your 2023 Caldecott Comment Card

by Travis Jonker

A Fuse #8 Production

Poems As Picture Books: Zetta Elliott Discusses the Upcoming A Song for Juneteenth

by Betsy Bird

Good Comics for Kids

2023 ALA Youth Media Awards

by Esther Keller

Heavy Medal

FREEWATER wins the Newbery Medal, live reactions from Heavy Medal bloggers

by Emily Mroczek-Bayci

Teen Librarian Toolbox

A Conversation with Kendare Blake about BUFFY, THE NEXT GENERATION

by Amanda MacGregor

The Classroom Bookshelf

The Classroom Bookshelf is Moving

by Erika Thulin Dawes

The Yarn

A Book 25 Years in the Making: Marla Frazee Visits The Yarn

by Travis Jonker

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Articles on SLJ

Educators Weigh In on Summer Reading Lists in SLJ/NCTE Survey

Native Stories: Books for tweens and teens by and about Indigenous peoples

An Uncomfortable Truth: 12 books that discuss the 19th Amendment and the limits of women’s suffrage

ReadABILITY| Great Books Centering Disability Narratives

19 Top Books for Tween and Teen Climate Activists

Commenting for all posts is disabled after 30 days.

ADVERTISEMENT

Archives

Follow This Blog

Enter your email address below to receive notifications of new blog posts by email.

This coverage is free for all visitors. Your support makes this possible.

This coverage is free for all visitors. Your support makes this possible.

Primary Sidebar

  • News & Features
  • Reviews+
  • Technology
  • School Libraries
  • Public Libraries
  • Age Level
  • Ideas
  • Blogs
  • Classroom
  • Diversity
  • People
  • Job Zone

Reviews+

  • Book Lists
  • Best Books
  • Media
  • Reference
  • Series Made Simple
  • Tech
  • Review for SLJ
  • Review Submissions

SLJ Blog Network

  • 100 Scope Notes
  • A Fuse #8 Production
  • Good Comics for Kids
  • Heavy Medal
  • Neverending Search
  • Teen Librarian Toolbox
  • The Classroom Bookshelf
  • The Yarn

Resources

  • 2022 Youth Media Awards
  • The Newbery at 100: SLJ Celebrates the 100th Anniversary of the Award
  • Special Report | School Libraries 2021
  • Summer Reading 2021
  • Series Made Simple Spring 2021
  • SLJ Diverse Books Survey
  • Summer Programming Survey
  • Research
  • White Papers / Case Studies
  • School Librarian of the Year
  • Mathical Book Prize Collection Development Awards
  • Librarian/Teacher Collaboration Award

Events & PD

  • In-Person Events
  • Online Courses
  • Virtual Events
  • Webcasts
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Subscribe
  • Media Inquiries
  • Newsletter Sign Up
  • Content Submissions
  • Data Privacy
  • Terms of Use
  • Terms of Sale
  • FAQs
  • Diversity Policy
  • Careers at MSI


COPYRIGHT © 2023


COPYRIGHT © 2023