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January 8, 2013 by Karen Jensen, MLS

Three Taboos to Break With Your Teens & Improve Your Service

January 8, 2013 by Karen Jensen, MLS   Leave a Comment

There are some things one just does discuss in polite company.  Sex.  Religion.  Politics.  There are some things we just aren’t supposed to do.  Ask someone’s age.  Double dip.  Regift.

Teenagers are wonderful, complex, interesting beings, and sometimes, they need their own set of social rules.  Just as we crouch down on the floor to talk to preschoolers and speak up to talk with the senior citizen who needs it, we need to change some of our habits to effectively work with teens.  It’s for their own good — and yours too!

Shamelessly break these taboos with your teen patrons.

1.  Ask Their Age:  “How old are you?” “What grade are you in?”

What does a fifteen year old look like?  Not like the teens you see on TV!





I work with teens every day and it would be hard for me to guess the ages of the young women seen on TV shows like Glee.  You don’t need to know how old your patron is to provide good service, but it can be useful information.  For example, it’s handy to know if, when she says she wants something romantic, she’s an 11 year old with visions of fairy tale romance who might love twisted Cinderella retelling?  Or is she actually fifteen, looking for something with more complexity and realism?  Likewise when the teen asks for a book about Lewis and Clark, or Civil Rights.  Knowing the approximate age/grade/reading* level is key in getting the right book into the right teen’s hands.

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*True, these three are not going to all be the same, but knowing the age and grade of your patron is a good start.
2.  Let’s talk about sex baby.
Before you hand over a book that you know has racy content, let teens know it’s there.  It might not matter to them… but it might.  If that’s too much for them, they’ll appreciate knowing it.  And if they don’t care, your mention of it should roll off their backs.  Also on this point, don’t mince words.  Calling it racy content isn’t going to do a whole lot for a teen who is still trying to wrap her brain around the way adults use coded messages.  Be frank.  Say, “There’s sex in this book.  It’s not too graphic, but it’s there.”  or “There’s a lot of talk about making out and sex, but no actual sex.” Whatever suits the book you’re suggesting.
3.  Regift.
It may turn you off at the holiday party to open something you’re pretty sure someone else rejected.  But just because you didn’t care for the book is no reason to not pass it on to a teen, and it’s ok to let them know that.  Fessing up that you tried reading it but it wasn’t for you might even make the book more appealing for a teen, especially if you’re conscientious about the appeal factors they’re looking for.  Too gory or too much teenspeak for you?  Not enough positive adults, or just part of a trend you’re not into?  That’s no reason for it to not be the perfect book for a teen, and telling them why they might like it even if it turned you off proves that you were listening to them and you’re respecting their interests.
What other ways do you bend social rules or break taboos when you’re working with teens?  Share in the comments!
-Heather

Filed under: Professional Development

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About Karen Jensen, MLS

Karen Jensen has been a Teen Services Librarian for almost 30 years. She created TLT in 2011 and is the co-editor of The Whole Library Handbook: Teen Services with Heather Booth (ALA Editions, 2014).

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