Dear Teen Me: De Ja Vu with Karen J
The phone is ringing and you know that Curtis is calling to tell you that she died. It is never good news when someone calls this early in the morning. There are rules about that it seems.
For some reason, the two worst events in your life appear to have happened in a set of 2 days that are distinctly de ja vu.
When your parents sent you to get your brother at a friend’s house, you knew they were going to tell you they were getting a divorce. And as you walk down the road and knock on the door you swear that this is the exact thing that happened every step of the way when you went to that same neighbors house to get your brother. That time, your parents told you they were “splitting up” so that they could “work on things.” You knew then what it really meant. But you knew this day was coming when you heard your mom crying on the phone to your grandma: “I don’t know where I will go or what I will do she says.” It’s too much for a girl to handle.
And here you are, years later having that same de ja vu feeling. Last Saturday, early in the morning, the phone rang and Curtis told you about the accident. They don’t know what happened. She was alone in the car. She would have been fine if she hadn’t have stood up, but they think when she stood up to say “I’m over here” that her broken rib punctured her lung. And today the phone is ringing and it is happening again, it is like you already lived this moment and the phone call last week was just a rehearsal for this one.
He says the words and the life is sucked right out of you. When you had to move, yet again, you didn’t know how to say goodbye this time so you pretended not to care. You and Teri were just starting to build your relationship again when you got the call. All that moving around, all that leaving and having your heart broken – you just didn’t think you could do it again because you truly had found some amazing best friends. I mean, you and Teri used to make Rice Krispie treats and eat the whole pan together. That right there is a keeper if you ask me.
Here’s what you need to know. Curtis will come in and out of your life and the two of you will always be best friends bound not only by memory, but by Teri’s spirit. And every time you make Rice Krispie treats, you will think of Teri and feel blessed. And you will remember to give yourself over to love, even when you have to say goodbye and it hurts.
Filed under: Dear Teen Me
About Karen Jensen, MLS
Karen Jensen has been a Teen Services Librarian for almost 30 years. She created TLT in 2011 and is the co-editor of The Whole Library Handbook: Teen Services with Heather Booth (ALA Editions, 2014).
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